Guess Who Got a Boob Job…

before

Cameron before breast enhancement surgery

Looks like Cameron Diaz’s itty-bitties aren’t so itty-bitty anymore. In fact, the ladies seem just an itty-bitty bigger these days.

Turns out, after refusing all of A-Rod’s offers pleads to take his American Express and buy herself some new tits with the points he collected from all the other boobies he purchased for all his other ex-girlfriends, Cameron then did what every newly single girl eventually considers in between sobs and shots of bitter on those cold, lonely Saturday nights…

That’s right… normally the tub of Ben & Jerry’s wins out, but that following Monday morning, A-Rod’s bff—the plastic surgeon he refers all his beauties to, was able to book himself another holiday because Cameron took a cue from her “Bad Teacher” character and waltzed into the clinic with a handful of cash, ripped open a catalogue and yelled out, “I want these ones!”

It’s obvious that what’s happening here is merely every-woman’s greatest revenge. Cameron’s new

after

Cameron after breast enhancement surgery

boobs have basically perked up and screamed: “Look at me now. Look at what you once had!”

That’s right. It’s not a secret our star athlete likes his women fit and athletic. But he also likes them big-breasted. And it’s also no secret our movie actress had some athletic curves but those curves weren’t round enough to keep her man. That’s right… she had pecs…not curves.

And because A-Rod cries himself to sleep due to feelings of emasculation and jealousy of those pecs, he offered a few times to gift himself with a pair of silicone squeezables, but finally Cameron turned away from him, exclaiming “No more boobies for you,” in the same tone his own mother used on his 13th birthday.

happier times

A-Rod and Cameron

Like any self-respecting girl would do, Cameron bid him farewell and headed straight for the clinic. And good for her! Girl can now look in the mirror every morning on the set of the sequel “Bad Teachers in Outer Space”, grab her chest and joyfully exclaim in a way only Cameron can, “Let’s go get ‘em, ladies!”